Kamis, 28 November 2013

what's in my mind?


There are a lot actually. Not heavy stuffs but every little tiny bit of things that make me smile. Or confused.
1. Adorable puppies in the form of woman's bestfriend, shoes!
I want this so damn bad... The puppies prints on it drives me crazy. It seems like these bad boys barking, asking me to wear them. But I just bought another shoes online. I can't spend all of my money in a sec. I guess you boys have to wait for me. If I do well in my final exam, I'll definitely have you boys. As a reward for myself. Just wait, mommy gonna study hard for you.

2. The best medical drama in the whole word, and what made it more awesome is the main character had an autistic disease

The drama is about a genius doctor wanna-be trying to be accepted as a resident in the best hospital in the country. He has a good spacial capability and precise diagnose. Unfortunately he has Savant Syndrome. People cannot accept him. He was rejected by society. This is a drama proving the qualification to be a good doctor is not about awesome medical skill, high success rate in operating patient, or great social skill. It's about trying your best to help others.
The story is nice. Joo Won oppa is charming. Fell for him,even though he was behaving like a 7 years old in this drama. 

3. My sad yet pitiful motivation
After I watched Good Doctor, I rethink my motivation why I want to be a doctor. The main reason is because my dad promised that he will buy me a car if I get accepted in medical university. The other reason is just to make my parents proud and my family happy. I wonder why becoming a doctor is such a big deal. I guess it's no longer about helping others, but a guarantee to live all fulfilled. 
I want to help others, but do I have to be a doctor? I can't be a surgeon or anything that forced me to work with scapel, just an ordinary doctor. I won't save people's life. 

What if, just what if I can do more for others if I am not becoming a doctor? 

No matter how many times I asked myself, I don't have the courage to answer it myself.

Sabtu, 16 November 2013

I need my mommy&daddy

Usually I'm the type of person who doesn't care about going back home, eventhough I'm here in Jogja all by myself. I'm not homesick. My house now has becoming waaaay more comfortable more than ever. Like I can live in my room forever.
But why now I'm acting like a spoiled child asking for my mommy? My parents always visit me at least once every two weeks. But I haven't seen them for a month. That's what broke my heart. Do they care about me?

The saddest thing is, my relationship with my parents is more shallow. The only thing we talked about is money. How much they have to give me this week. How much I have to pay my housekeeper weekly fee. That's it. My parents have become a stranger to me.

I never crumble apart in front of my parents. I never told them about my life to them. I always act "I can handle everything". Asking for advice or being weak really isn't my thing. And maybe my parents would feel the same. I'm doing perfectly fine here. Why they should care?

Now I'm feeling lonely. My life has been great lately. Less drama and everyone around me is super nice. Maybe less fun, but this is what I want and I am loving it. But no matter how nice my life is, no one can replace family.

I miss you mommy daddy, my big bro, and both of my sisters. Please come visit me.

Minggu, 20 Oktober 2013

Sweetheart O' Mine

I really miss you, sweetheart
Your smile your laughter
I cherished every moment
You popped in my mind, sweetheart
I really can't stop
You're the person I love
I can't lie, sweetheart
All I think about is you
I'll give my all for you


Are these what you want to hear?
They all true, sweetheart
Congratulation you have won
You can laugh as hard as you can
But always remember,
I'll be the one who had the last laugh

My foolish sweetheart,
How could you be so adorable?
If you are becoming this cute,
It's hard for me to let you go

Another lie from me
I always wonder why it's fun to mess around with you
Sweetheart, don't be so sad
I hope you are capable to forgive me

And I am capable to forgive you too

Aah, another lie from me

I already did.

I loved you sweetheart
Stay warm.

Minggu, 11 Agustus 2013

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,

And here I am, always wondering,
Can you come back?

The Chronicles of Audy

Novel ini yang bikin aku berapi-api malam ini. Setelah setengah mati menahan diri buat nggak beli novel He Was Cool book 2, aku malah ketemu buku berseri lagi. Sama seperti kasus He Was Cool, tulisan angka 1 di dalam lingkaran kecil warna kuning itu ada di samping buku, letaknya di bawah pula. Pokoknya aku sama sekali nggak tahu kalau He Was Cool itu berseri. Di buku The Chronicles of Audy : 4R, kasusnya lebih parah. Di covernya ataupun di samping buku nggak ada tulisan apa-apa. Di sinopsisnya juga nggak tercantum apapun. Bahkan sampai aku selesai baca bukunya, aku dengan lugunya masih nggak tahu itu buku berseri. Cuma aku curiga. Sebagai pembaca setia Orizuka, rasanya ada yang janggal. Romantisnya kurang banget! Nggak ada romantis-romantisnya malah. Dan waktu aku buka-buka bukunya di halaman pertama ada tulisan Book 1. Rasanya kayak.... Dibawa ke langit terbang bersama paus-paus dari iklan kopi lalu dibanting ke bawah. Bum! Tanpa babibu, tanpa peringatan apapun. Intinya aku berekspetasi lebih.

Oh ya, jadi The Chronicles of Audy : 4R adalah novel tentang kesialan gadis 22 tahun bernama Audy. Audy jatuh miskin dan butuh uang untuk membayar kuliah dan tunggakan kosnya. Ia tergiur dengan tawaran kerja menjadi babysitter. Gaji 900 ribu di muka! Walaupun rumahnya menjijikan dan kepribadian penghuninya tidak terlalu menyenangkan, Audy yang benar-benar butuh uang langsung menandatangani kontrak dari Regan, anak sulung yang berprofesi sebagai pengacara. Ternyata Audy bukan hanya mengurus "bayi" berusia 4,5 tahun. Ia juga harus membersihkan rumah, mencuci, dan memasak. Singkatnya ia dijadikan pembantu.
Anak pertama Regan, adalah cowok tertampan yang pernah dilihat Audy. Regan juga mirip Keanu Reeves. Baik hati dan perhatian pula. Pokoknya sempurna. Kecharmingannya inilah yang membuat Audy langsung menandatangani kontrak tanpa membacanya lebih dulu.
Anak kedua, Romeo. Mirip Regan namun berantakan, gondrong, dan jarang mandi. Kerjaannya hanya bermain game dan berkutat dengan komputer seharian. Namun ia jago IT. Pekerjaannya juga tidak jauh-jauh dari komputer sehingga dia bisa bebas berada di rumah seharian.
Rex, anak ketiga. Paling pendiam. Setiap kata-katanya ketus dan singkat. Dia masih duduk di bangku SMA namun bisa membuat Audy terkadang gugup. Dia sangat genius dan satu-satunya yang menghargai kebersihan di rumah yang sangat mirip TPA itu. Rex juga jago masak. Yang minus darinya hanya sikapnya yang dingin.
Yang terakhir Rafael, balita yang terlalu cepat dewasa. Sudah lancar membaca walaupun belum duduk di bangku sekolah. Bahkan tau lebih banyak dari Audy. Rafael mewarisi sifat ketiga kakaknya. Namun belum terlihat sih sifat Regan di dalam dirinya.
Akhirnya Audy diterima sebagai bagian dari keluarga 4R. Nggak papa ya spoiler. Lagian ini juga seri. Book 1 ini kurang lebih seperti novel keluarga. Bagaimana mereka mengatasi problem yang ada di dalam keluarga 4R ini.
Mungkin book 2 bakal lebih romantis. Seharusnya sih. Tetapi berarti aku harus MENUNGGU!!!! And I hate waiting. Like freaking hate it. Semoga book 2 nya cepet keluar T_T

Aku juga habis nonton Architecture 101. Yang main Han Ga In sama Uhm Tae Woong. Romantic Comedy pula. Jelas aku berharap banyak. Romantis sih, indeed. tapi endingnya? Bukan sad ending atau happy ending. Aku malah ngira film ini nggak ada endingnya. Kecewa? Jelaslaaaah! Dari kemarin aku dikagolin terus. Aku kasih saran ya, jangan terlalu berekspetasi lebih. ToT
Ceritanya tentang seorang arsitek yang ketemu sama temen kuliahnya dulu. Han Ga In minta dibikinin rumah sama Tae Woong. Dan selama mereka ngelakuin proyek ini, ke flashback pas mereka masih kuliah. Dulu si Tae Woong di friendzone sama Ga In. Namun di akhir-akhir ketauan deh kalo Ga In sebenernya suka sama Tae Woong. Ga In cinta pertamanya Tae Woong dan vice versa.
Jadi kamu yang difriendzone sama dia, jangan putus harapan dulu. Siapa tahu dia juga suka sama kamu, tapi kamunya keburu negative thinking. Sebaiknya diperjelas deh semua-muanya. lupakan istilah things are better left unsaid. Daripada nyesel di akhir kan ^^



Rabu, 31 Juli 2013

#randomwishes

I want to enter a sorority.
I want a house with a really beautiful garden and a small pond. Completed with a comfortable couch where I can read as much as I want.
I want to have He Was Cool 2.
I want to try bungee jumping.
I want to go to an island where no one knows about me.
I want to go to a trip and do all the crazy things I'm never allowed to.
I want to have a man who loves no one but me.
I want to be able to swim.
I want to have the complete season of Greek or Top Gear. The second one seems impossible.
I want to have fun. I want to have an extraordinary experience in extraordinary places. I want to escape from my life. I hate all of my daily routines.
I want to have a job that I love. I'm still not sure being a doctor is what I want. But I'm 100% sure taking medical studies is what I want. I don't care if I stop in the half way, I only want to make my parents proud.
I want to have infinity amount of lychee flavor activia with aloe vera pieces.
I want to dance like there's no tomorrow.
I want to meet Ryan Gosling and kiss him on the cheek.

Jumat, 12 Juli 2013

my future children's names

Caroline for my daughter
Orlando for my son
It's final and even my future husband can not change it.
My daughter's nickname is gonna be Olin, and Olan for my son. Isn't that cute?

Kamis, 11 Juli 2013

Lee Jong Suk

The most handsome actor in Korea nowadays and also the guy I'm in love with, Lee Jong Suk!
He already starred in many dramas, including Secret Garden, but his biggest hits is School 2013. A drama about bullying in high school. I haven't watch it yet, but it's ok. Now, he starred in a law-themed drama, I Hear Your Voice. He played as a high-schooler named Park Soo Ha who can read mind. Nope, he is not an alien, or mutant. He got that power after a car accident, which have killed his dad. His dad did not die in the accident. But the truck driver killed him with an iron pipe. Soo Ha was a little kid back then. Watched his dad murdered in front of his eyes is too much right? Meanie!
But the truck driver only punished because of the accident and not the murder. You guys maybe saying, "why don't you check the body? there would be evidence all over the dad's body". He already cremated! It sucks to be korean -_-
handsome, huh?
Sadly Soo Ha fell in love with the witness of the case. The one who saved his life and saw the accident. Jang Hye Sung. Meh. The truck driver swore that he will kill Hye Sung. Without Hye Sung testimony he won't be punished.
Hahaha I'm a bit jealous. Soo Ha, despite he was a little kid, made a promise that he will protect her.

10 years passed...
Soo Ha is a high schooler, and Hye Sung is a public attorney. Soo Ha helped Hye Sung in many cases with his ability. And of course protect her at any cost. Because the truck driver is now released from jail...

Enough with the drama! Here is Jong Suk's profile
  • Name: Lee Jong Suk
  • Profession: Actor; Model
  • Birth date: 1989, Sept 14
  • Height: 185cm
  • Weight: 65kg
  • Star Sign: Virgo (me too^^)
  • Talent Agency: Wellmade STARM

OMFG! So cute ><
If you guys remember, he is the gay Han Tae Sun from Secret Garden. He worked with Yoon Sang Hyun again (Oska in Secret Garden (he fell in love with him) ; Cha Kwan Woo in I Hear Your Voice). I wonder how he became really manly right now^^

Jumat, 28 Juni 2013

Rantau 1 Muara

Akhirnya selesai juga Rantau 1 Muara karangan Ahmad Fuadi. Bukunya orang Indonesia, harus di review pakai Bahasa Indonesia juga ya. Rantau 1 Muara adalah buku ketiga dari trilogi Negeri 5 Menara.
Buku pertamanya, Negeri 5 Menara mengisahkan tentang kehidupan Alif, anak Minang yang menuntut ilmu di Pondok Pesantren Madani. Bukunya sudah diangkat ke layar lebar. Filmnya juga bagus, tidak ecek-ecek lah.
Bukunya yang kedua berjudul Ranah 3 Warna. Mengisahkan Alif saat tinggal di Kanada.
Dan yang terakhir Rantau 1 Muara, Alif mendapat beasiswa ke George Washington University dan mendapat pekerjaan di sana.




Di awal cerita Alif baru saja kembali dari Kanada. Sempat Ia menuntut ilmu ke Singapura selama setahun. Ia kesulitan uang bahkan sampai berurusan dengan preman penagih kredit. Kesana kemari Alif mencari kerja namun tidak didapatkannya. Alif lulus di saat yang salah, di akhir 90'an. 


Man saara ala darbi washala; 
Siapa yang berjalan di jalannya akan sampai ke tujuan.

Teringatlah Alif pada pesan Kiai Rais dulu. Ikuti jalan yang sama, tekuni itu sampai bertahun-tahun, niscaya akan sukses. Namun jalan apa yang Alif harus ambil? Dia jebolan HI UNPAD, haruskah ia jadi diplomat? Namun 1 hal yang selalu ia tekuni sedari kecil ; menulis. Segeralah Alif melayangkan lamaran kerja ke kantor majalah atau koran. Seringkali ia mendapat penolakan, tetapi tekadnya bulat. Akhirnya Alif diterima di majalah Derap, majalah yang mengutamakan kebenaran dan kejujuran.
Alif bekerja di Jakarta menjadi seorang wartawan. Tetap saja keuangannya seret. Ia terpaksa tinggal di kantor untuk menghemat uang kos.
Di kantor inilah Alif bertemu Dinara, wartawan baru dengan mata cemerlang. Alif langsung jatuh hati saat melihat Dinara di ruang tunggu kantor. Usut punya usut, Dinara adalah sahabat Raisa, gadis yang sempat disukai Alif saat ia tinggal di Kanada.
Suatu hari, Randai, sahabat sekaligus saingannya, menanyakan kabar beasiswanya ke Amerika. Alif terbakar semangatnya, bertekad untuk menunjukkan pada Randai bahwa Ia bisa bersekolah di Amerika.
Dibantu Dinara dan Pasus, Alif berhasil mendapatkan beasiswa Fullbright dan bersekolah di GWU.
Di Washington DC ia bertemu dengan Mas Garuda, orang Indonesia yang memiliki pekerjaan bermacam-macam di Amerika. Ia tinggal dengan ilegal di DC. Mas Garuda merantau jauh-jauh ke Amerika untuk menabung demi keluarganya dan calon istrinya di Indonesia. Beliau sangat baik kepada Alif karena ALif mengingatkannya pada Danang, adiknya yang meninggal karena kanker paru-paru.

Dari Amerika, Alif mendapat persetujuan dari Dinara untuk meminangnya. Dia juga berhasil mendapatkan restu orang tua Dinara via Calling Card jebolan Chinatown. Alif memboyong Dinara ke Washington DC.

Alif dan Dinara mendapatkan pekerjaan di ABN Washington DC. Mereka disebut Dynamic Duo, karena semangat mereka mencari berita yang unik. Dinara dan Alif bahagia, pendapatan mereka stabil, tidak lagi seret uang, Namun, inikah yang mereka cari?

Pada kejadian 9/11, Mas Garuda berada di NYC, sangat dekat dengan WTC. Alif dan Dinara mencari Mas Garuda kemana-mana, namun yang tersisa darinya hanyalah syal batik Mas Garuda.

Alif hancur, berharap Mas Garuda masih hidup, namun tidak ada kabar karena Mas Garuda adalah imigran gelap.

Di akhir cerita Alif dan Dinara kembali ke Indonesia. Tempat di mana mereka bisa jadi manusia yang bermanfaat. Berdua, mereka menjadi special representative ABN di Jakarta. Kerja di Indonesia, Gaji Amerika. Apa lagi yang mau diminta?



Rantau 1 Muara menginspirasi sekali. Kalau kamu mau, tekuni, dan kamu akan mendapatkan. Siapa yang menabur, dia yang menuai. Walaupun novel ini bernuansa islami, namun saya yang bukan Islampun merasa tergugah. Dalam agama, Alif dikuatkan untuk menjawab berbagai tantangan hidup.
Hidup itu memang untuk merantau. Suatu hari saya akan merantau, mencari ilmu baru, menjelajahi dunia.

Buku ini membuat saya bertanya satu hal pada diri saya sendiri,

Jalan mana yang mau kamu tekuni?

Minggu, 09 Juni 2013

Freedom

Now i'm single and it doesn't feel bad. You can be close to everyone without hurting someone.
But when your heart already owned by someone, it doesn't matter that you're single, you can't look at someone else other than him.

No one owns my heart. So basicly nothing can stop me from doing anything i want. I just have to be careful, making right choices in my life.

Tomorrow is the final exam, and I cant focus. Why can't I stay silent and read the books?
I don't expect much but I hope I can do it well

Least, the lyrics of "More Than Words" by Extreme

Saying I love you 
Is not the words I want to hear from you 
It's not that I want you 
Not to say, but if you only knew 
How easy it would be to show me how you feel 
More than words is all you have to do to make it real 
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 
'Cause I'd already know 

What would you do if my heart was torn in two 
More than words to show you feel 
That your love for me is real 
What would you say if I took those words away 
Then you couldn't make things new 
Just by saying I love you 

More than words 

Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand 
All you have to do is close your eyes 
And just reach out your hands and touch me 
Hold me close don't ever let me go 
More than words is all I ever needed you to show 
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 
'Cause I'd already know 

What would you do if my heart was torn in two 
More than words to show you feel 
That your love for me is real 
What would you say if I took those words away 
Then you couldn't make things new 
Just by saying I love you 

More than words

Rabu, 05 Juni 2013

it hurts (?)

I supposed to be in pain. I should cry, being angry for numerous times. But now, i don't feel anything. I'm not crying. Even though I'm a big crybaby.
Maybe because it's too painful? Or because I realize that I'm no one?
But I feel none!

One thing for sure, I regret that I sounded so fake.

Later I will watch a sad movie, or a book that has sad ending. Anything to distract me. And makes me, at least, feel something.

Sabtu, 01 Juni 2013

it's gonna be a sweet memory



Everything that happened that day were sweet. And I didn't know a lot of things could happen in just one day. Sadness, happiness, proud, excitement, etc. And one thing that made that day special. 
Hope. 
"Hoping that everything gonna be okay. Wondering if you wanted to talk to me. Trying to make your friend happy."
And if your hope came true, all you feel is glad and relieved.

But, if you getting your hopes too high, it's going to hurt so much. So damn much. It hurts but i can't do anything. I am no one in your eyes. I'm angry but what can I say? 

I'm putting on this fake smile. Hoping you will realize it all by yourself.

From now on, I'm going to keep it tight in my heart. And I won't fall. Not even a little.


Rabu, 29 Mei 2013

just like a romantic scene in a movie

 It was under the rain. 6 p.m.
We were sitting on a bench, not knowing each other names.
Yet we just sit there awkwardly.
Waiting for our cup of noodles. Silently.
Then you started the conversation. We were chatting with a lot of pauses. Tried to search for a topic.
But it was nice.
Considering you're a total stranger to me.
I guess there is one thing I really want to say, but I can't.

"Nice to meet you"

Selasa, 28 Mei 2013

I am scared

Why I have to be judged by everything I say? Why can't I say my opinion honestly? Why I have to live under the pressure. Why can't I be myself? Why?
People said to wait. But it's been too long and i don't know when it will end. I hate getting blamed all the time. I'm tired. I hate being screamed at. I hate being mocked at. Especially from someone you cared the most.
I can't lie. But why can't I be honest either?

Please. I beg you from the bottom of my heart. Please stop.

Selasa, 21 Mei 2013

He Was Cool

It's been a long time since I wrote a post about entertainment. Well this blog is about entertaining but I keep telling story about myself. Sorry -_-
Anyway.... I just finished another korean book titled He Was Cool. The author is Guiyeoni.

It's a story that begun from an accidental kiss. The guy named Ji Eun Seong. And the girl named Han Ye Won. Ye Won foolishly jumped from her school's gate and fall on Eun Seong. They kissed. Eun Seong, a guy who hate skinships forced Ye Won to be his girlfriend. Because he can't share a kiss with a total stranger.
Actually they met before in Damoyim. I don't really get it but it's a korean social network. They mocked each other school. One thing that Ye Won didn't know, Eun Song is a bad boy. We can call him a high school gangster. Only with a good looking face. He was a part of Big 4. A gang consisted of 4  good looking men who love to fight.

Eun Song hated Ye Won instantly and chased her everywhere. That was why they end up with an accidental kiss.

Eun Song wasn't entirely a bad boy. He protected Ye Won many times. One thing that she couldn't understand, is why Eun Song didn't like being touched.

One day, Ye Won went out with her childhood friend from America, Jong Min. She didn't fulfill her promise to meet Eun Seong that day. Sadly, Eun Seong prepared a surprise for her and it was a day before his birthday. So sad T^T

Eun Song was really angry and left Ye Won. After many scenes, including Eun Song bitchy ex and a lot of fight, they finally made up and became a cute couple ^^

This is the cover ^^ I can't find a better  image  T_T
Movie made from this story
d.... Manhwa
The story was a big hit. And I'm waiting for the second part of He Was Cool. I don't know the story about the second book but it's about Eun Seong jealousy. Ye Won, that stupid girl how come she liked by two handsome men -_-

Anyway.... I have to warn you. It's not a good-high quality tipe of book. The sentences are short, the story is moving too fast, and there are A LOT of emoticons.

It's cute and simple. I don't love it, but i like it ^^