Don't lose!

Am I doing the right thing tonight? What are you trying to do? Is it wrong to do this? What is your intention?

Many questions popped in my head. Even though I'm the one who is asking, I'm also the one who is afraid to answer. Afraid to accept reality.

I always said to my self,

Don't fall. Just remind your self everytime you're about to fall. You're about to fall from a cliff, and its not pretty down there. I know, falling freely seems nice, but you will not like what happen in the end. Don't fall from the cliff twice. Just remember how much it hurts when you hit the ground

Since I made a promise to myself, I'm 100% percent sure that i will not be the one who is falling twice like an idiot.
I'll treat it like a game. Between you and me. Can we play it till the end, fair and square? Or maybe we will cheat to win? Maybe we will end it with a tie, pretend like nothing happened?

Just wait. I won't fall and I will win.

I won't lose.